May as well start with some pics.
This one says "No Jello for me" because we were making the tech laugh with our tale of researching the ingredients in Jello pudding. (You know when there are OSHA regulations specific to a chemical in your food, something is not quite right!)
I stared at these pictures for so many hours yesterday that I started to imagine that something was wrong. Specifically, I convinced myself that somehow the doctor and the ultrasound technician at the *high risk clinic* had failed to notice that our son's nose and forehead were deformed. I spent hours on Google looking for possible explanations for this. I put calls in to my mom and sister to get their input and/or some assistance with being talked down off the ledge. I forwarded the pictures to an expectant friend who has looked at more ultrasounds than I have. I put a call in to the clinic asking them to take another look. I started researching reconstructive surgery options, in case the deformity was severe. In short, I completely went off the rails. I am told this is normal behavior for an expectant mother. Well, all I can say for myself is, at least I'm not like this every day... I suppose the ability to peek in there and see a baby-in-progress really is a blessing and a curse.
The very nice technician called me back and left a long message explaining that they had reviewed the pictures, and that she "didn't know what pictures [I was] looking at" but that "this kid's head looks perfect to [her]".
I went to bed feeling calmer-- or maybe I had simply exhausted myself. I woke up this morning and looked again. I could no longer see anything wrong. I've decided that he's perfect, and actually quite handsome.
The big 20wk ultrasound was the last big milestone in my mind before I felt I could relax. And I do feel much more relaxed now that I've worked through that non-crisis, and realized that we got nothing but great news at our visit today. The baby is measuring right on target, he had no markers to indicate any potential issues, and we feel comfortable about foregoing amniocentesis.
I really feel optimistic about being able to enjoy the rest of this pregnancy in a great frame of mind.
