Happy Winter Solstice!

This beautiful image is the artwork of Roberta Lannes-Sealy .

I also find it interesting, given that today is the Winter Solstice, that in the weekly e-mail that I receive from Alison Day's tarot website , the card drawn for this week was Death/Transformation. To me, Winter Solstice also represents the circle of life; as one thing ends or dies, another thing begins or is born. In order to be transformed-- to grow, to change, to learn our life's lessons-- to become more and more of who we truly are-- we die to ourselves repeatedly. And we rise, over and over again, from our own ashes. This is fundamental to life; we all experience this at some point in our journeys. Some of us experience it many times...

Here is what Alison had to say this week about Death and Transformation:

How would you feel if I was to say ‘Oh look, you are about to experience a transformation in your life’? Would you be as spooked as if you simply saw the Death card as your outcome card?

I am in the process of creating the Lotus Tarot deck and I will be naming this card ‘Transformation’ because I believe it portrays the true meaning of this card far better and without evoking the chills that the title ‘Death’ card does.

When the ‘Death’ card appears in a reading, the most common thought is that it is predicting a physical death, that someone is going to die. This, in most, if not all, cases is highly unlikely.

I cannot speak for all Tarot readers, but I personally do not use this card to represent a physical death. For me, the Death card represents an event or series of events or circumstances that may cause great disruption and possible upset, but which make transformation in its many forms inevitable.

I am not a medium or clairvoyant, but I do use the Tarot cards to help give men and women around the world some insights into their own situations and to look at their lives from a different perspective. Let me give you some examples: one of the greatest blows any of us can receive, man or woman, is when we fall utterly in love with someone only to be rejected and left alone. Many of you may have
had such an experience and it can feel like your world has fallen apart.

Such incidences can create transformational change within us, changing our outlook and our approach to love and relationships. For example, if someone, who didn’t love you, lets you go, it can open up a whole new set of circumstances and opportunities for you.

There have been numerous case histories of people who have been bankrupt and who have lost everything only to change course and tactics and go on to achieve great success.

For me, the end of something, whether it be a relationship, job, career or lifestyle is only the sign that it is time for something new to be created. If I am no longer in that relationship, I am free to pursue new love. If I have lost my job, I am free to look for a better one and so on.

The tale of the Phoenix sums up the meaning of the Death card quite well, where a bird dies in the flames only to emerge and fly out of the fire transformed into something far greater.

So don’t fear the Death card when it appears. Take it as a sign that something in your life may come to an end. The transition may be challenging but as the end comes to pass a new beginning will present itself.

Love and Joy,
Alison

Thought for the Day

This hour of history needs a dedicated circle of transformed nonconformists. The saving of our world from pending doom will come not from the action of a conforming majority but from the creative maladjustment of a dedicated minority. --MLK Jr.

An Open Letter to My Conservative and Christian Friends

Parts of this were taken from a letter I recently wrote to a dear friend of 22 years. I awoke one morning last week to discover that this person I deeply respect, admire, and love had "de-friended" me on Facebook. Immediately I knew why. The day before, I had posted an article about Rick Warren on my FB profile, with an added comment about Warren being a "bigoted fundie asshat". While it is very true that I am no fan of Warren, and that I do believe his stance on homosexuality to be deeply bigoted and antipathetic, I made two mistakes when I did what I did.

First, I posted the article and incendiary comment on Facebook, knowing full well that I have many politically and religiously conservative friends who would see what I had posted and written the next time they logged in. I've been expressing myself in the wrong forum. (Hence the creation of this blog as an alternative.) I would have never gone to the trouble of forwarding that same article and comment to my conservative friends' personal e-mail addresses; the obvious rudeness of doing such a thing would have prevented me from doing so.

Second, and perhaps more to the point: I chose a hateful way of expressing my sentiments, one that many would find completely off-putting, and rightly so.

I spent the rest of the day crying, hard, at the idea that a thoughtless comment on Facebook may have cost me a friendship that I have held so dear for so long. That I was literally driving my old friends away because of how I chose to express myself. Just how screwed up had my priorities become?

The truth of the matter is that I would not choose to continue a connection to any person who used the word n----r, or who expressed antisemitic views, or who made a habit of writing things I found deeply offensive to my own sensibilities. In fact, I have de-friended people myself in the past, for precisely those reasons. They were always people with whom I had never shared a close friendship to begin with, and I was not sorry to see them go.

Reflecting on this, I realized that I had to apply my own yardstick from my friend's point of view. Again, I shuddered at the thought that I was, to him, what these others had been to me: an annoyance, a lout, an asshat. A left-wing Ann Coulter, if you will. Sure... insulting people can be satisfying, if your goal is to score points. But again, it comes down to intention. What's the goal?

As the Dude said to his friend, "You're not wrong, Walter. You're just an asshole!" I had become Walter Sobchak, without even realizing it. Not everything is about 'Nam.

With some of my conservative friends, I enjoy lively and respectful debates on the subjects of religion, politics, culture, sex, and many other supposedly verboten subjects, or what I like to call, the good stuff. We can rib each other, agree to disagree, sometimes persuade each other on certain points, and then go about our day. I often come away from these conversations the better informed for having had them-- my assumptions challenged, my horizons broadened in some way. I suppose the idealistic side of me is prone to living in a fantasy world where I can enjoy such exchanges with everyone I call a friend.

But that is never going to be reality... especially not if I choose to open up with an insult, which is pretty universally off-putting. A friend recently asked me, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be heard?" The same friend also lovingly cautioned me to take care not to become that which I claim to abhor. Finally, she teased that I seem to want to ram my opinion down other people's throats, but I want them to like me while I do it. Did she ever hit the nail on the head!

So, in the process of mulling all of this over, I drafted a letter to my dear childhood friend, and I also decided to post here an Open Letter To My Conservative Friends that holds true in general. Here it is:

Recent events in my life have prompted me to take a hard look at how I express my point of view, and I can only say that I was shocked and ashamed at what I found when I did.

They say that when somebody makes you really angry, it's because there's something in them that you recognize in yourself, and that this recognition makes you really, really uncomfortable. In short, those who push our buttons the most are those who mirror back to us the traits that we most deeply dislike within ourselves. One view even holds that these people are precisely the ones for whom we should be the most grateful in our lives, because they are our greatest teachers.

Too often, I forget that, and instead I adapt the most facile, us-vs-them habits of thought.

I am afraid that, without realizing it, of late I have been turning into exactly the kind of left-wing "fundamentalist" that I claim to abhor: sanctimonious, self-righteous, obnoxious.

My political and spiritual convictions may have shifted radically over the years, but in this sense, I haven't changed a bit. It is always a shock to look in the mirror and to realize that, despite all efforts to convince yourself you've "grown", you really are, to quote Kurt Vonnegut, exactly who you were in high school. Imagine my dismay upon discovering how very true this is. The ego is a tricksy little bugger, and mine too often runs the show, I'm afraid.

I have a sharp tongue, a quick temper, and an often profane and sarcastic sense of humour. I tend to use these dubious gifts in the service of alleviating my own sadness, frustration, and dismay... that is to say, when I feel vulnerable. And then I'm always shocked at the consequences. While my intentions are never to offend you or anybody else, that is too often exactly what I end up doing.

I am as deeply convicted in my beliefs as you, my conservative and Christian friends, are in yours, and because of my tempermental challenges, my passion regarding certain matters gets the best of me at times. When I react in the heat of frustration, disappointment or anger, my filter goes missing and I say things that I regret, sometimes alienating people that I care about in the process.

All I can say is that I'm aware of it and I'm working on it. If I have offended you or hurt you, I am truly sorry and I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I would rather you call me on this where you see it, than to go. But I understand that it really isn't your job; I am a grown-up and responsible for my own words and actions.

Regardless of whether or not you choose to stick around, please know that I wish you nothing but the best, now and always.

Going to a Town

It has been a long, cold, lonely 8-year winter for progressives in America. January 20th brings about a change of regime, and it can't come soon enough for me. I will be going to D.C. for the inauguration. Even though Obama was not my first choice-- I was a Kucinich girl-- I am very much looking forward to celebrating the end of the Bush/Cheney years, and seeing the sights of the Capitol for the first time.

Sadly, for those of us involved in the effort to overturn Prop 8 in California, this week brought a big disappointment, in the form of Obama's choice of Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at his inauguration. Warren was instrumental in the passage of Proposition 8. He has expressed deeply prejudiced views towards homosexuals. Specifically, he has likened gay marriage to incest and pederasty. And unfortunately, his opinion carries a lot of weight in California and throughout the evangelical community all over the United States, thanks to his best-selling Christian self-help books. I disagree wholeheartedly with Steve Waldman of BeliefNet in his defense of Warren, but I agree completely with his assessment that some on the left confused Warren's "temperamental with political moderation".

Perhaps because I grew up in the world of Evangelical Christianity, Warren never had me fooled for a second. In my opinion he's just another Jerry Falwell, hiding behind his jolly, innocent-looking coutenance. He perpetuates fear-based and hateful stereotypes and myths about homosexuals from his bully pulpit, and that does absolutely nothing to move the sociopolitical climate in the United States towards inclusiveness and equality. So-called leaders like Warren are stubbornly, decidedly not part of the solution, and you know how the saying goes...

It is for that simple reason that I am deeply dismayed, even appalled, that Obama would choose to include him in the events of January 20th.

The argument that Obama, in choosing Warren, is somehow reaching across the aisle or promoting what Waldman calls "spiritual bipartisanship" is utter nonsense. Nobody ever suggested the ridiculous notion that Martin Luther King Jr. give the likes of Bull Connor a "seat at the table". MLK Jr. had clarity of purpose; he saw that Connor and his ilk were the very people who were standing in the way of progress. He moved the cause of civil rights forward in spite of such people. Like Sarah Harmer sang, You must decide/if you will die or grow. It is time for America to evolve beyond this ridiculous, fear-based bigotry. Homophobia is so 20th century.

Yes, I do understand that Martin Luther King, Jr. was a civil rights leader, not a politician. Obama's job is to represent all Americans. Even people like Warren and his sheep. So, I suppose that there's a certain generosity of spirit in extending an olive branch such as this, to those who are flat-out unwilling to extend the same courtesy to the LGBT community. A wrongheaded choice, because it lends more legitimacy to someone whose agenda should not be legitimized, but perhaps done with the best of intentions. That would be a classic liberal mistake, after all.

Evan Wolfson, executive director of Freedom to Marry, had this to say: "It's hard to begin a ceremony aimed at bringing the country together by giving the microphone to someone fresh off a campaign in which he was determined to take away rights." Well-put, Mr. Wolfson.

Unfortunately, there is another possible explanation for Obama's choice of Warren. John Cloud of Time may be correct when he compares Obama to Richard Russell Jr., another thoughtful, tolerant-sounding politican...

Christopher Hitchens ponders the matter while delving into Warren's roots in a recent article at Slate:

Is it possible that Obama did not know the ideological background of his latest pastor? The thought seems plausible when one recalls the way in which he tolerated the odious Jeremiah Wright. Or is it possible that he does know the background of racism and superstition and sectarianism but thinks (as with Wright) that it might be politically useful in attracting a certain constituency? Either of these choices is pretty awful to contemplate.

Only time will tell.

Rufus Wainwright's Going to a Town from his album Release the Stars gives voice to the weariness, sadness, frustration and resentment that I'm feeling right now.

Prop 8: The Musical

Marc Shaiman & friends hilarious smackdown of Prop 8 and the religious "logic" behind it:

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... by Jack Black